Pajama Blues and a Little Love

I've been holding out on moving Grace into a bigger pajama size even though the poor girl's toes were getting kind of cramped in the size 12-18 months. First of all, it always makes me a little sad when she outgrows clothes because there's no denying that time is moving quickly and my baby girl is growing up too fast. But it's down right depressing when you have to move her up to the next size and realize her daddy never even saw her wear the old size! I know it sounds silly to get emotional over that, but it's just a poignant reminder of how much he's missed since he's been gone.

I was still feeling a little melancholy about the whole thing as I was getting Grace ready for bed when out of the blue, she patted my side and said 'love' to me. Then she asked for a hug and as I hugged her, she said 'love' again. There's no spot in the baby book for 'The First Time Your Baby Says She Loves You' so I'll just record it here on the blog. I mean, sure, she's said 'Love you' if I ask her to repeat after me, but this was the first time she said it on her own, without any kind of prompting.

All the challenges and difficulties of motherhood up to this point, and forever after, are erased by that one sentiment. Who cares that I have a nasty looking c-section scar, will forever be marked by inerasable stretch marks, or will from here on out require a Victoria's Secret Miracle bra to bring my boobs back to their pre-nursing state- these are all just shallow physical concerns. And who cares that I endured over 24 hours of labor pains and lost countless hours of sleep- these were only temporary.

She will never fully appreciate any of these sacrifices until she becomes a mother herself one day. But until then, my sweet baby girl said she loved me, and that is enough for me.